Why Are We In Such A Hurry? How to Bring Peace to Your Life
One of the services I offer women over 40 is a ‘Daily Womantra’, an inspirational thought or call to action, sent direct to their email boxes. A recent Womantra was discussing the habit of hurrying. Several women replied, thanking me for offering insight into the habit of being in a continuous cycle of hurry. Today, I want to delve deeper into this destructive behavior that so many of us fall into.
This is what the Womantra said:
Recently, I found myself hurrying in every area of my life – hurrying to get dressed for work, hurrying to work, hurrying to eat, hurrying home, hurrying when there really was no reason to hurry. Hurry had become a habit.
I looked up the opposite of hurry and the definition that spoke most to me was “order”. Even the word itself, “order” calms me down. When I am hurrying I don’t feel order or peace. I feel anxious, pissed off, ignored, unappreciated, my stomach is tied in knots and my breath is short and gasping.
I’ve begun practicing having order in my life. I wake in the mornings and my Womantra is:
“I am a woman of order”
To help with order in my life I’ve started planning what to wear the night before, I map out my day with a plan and repeat to myself:
“I have perfect and elegant timing”
As I shower and dress, I repeat:
“I have perfect and elegant timing”
As I drive to work, I repeat it, as I go into a meeting or begin a project at work, I repeat it and as I do, a feeling of peace comes over me. I take deep breaths, drop my shoulders and silently say my Womantra:
“I am a woman of order.”
Do you relate to this? It seems we live to make every moment count rather than counting every moment we live. We race the clock in every area of our lives. When was the last time you went for a run or a walk and didn’t try to beat the last time out? What if it were possible to enjoy the run or walk regardless of the time it took? What if it were possible to find pleasure in the exercise rather than ridiculing our bodies for not responding faster to our mental thought of:
“Hurry up and get this over because I’ve got to pick up the kids, or go to another meeting, or meet my friends for drinks, or hurry to the store, or hurry to pick up my mail.”
Hurry is a state of mind that stems from the western culture which emphasizes achievement and success; a state of mind that gives time the value of money. We women have taken this one step further, from work to our personal lives and family. We seem to believe that if we aren’t busy or in a hurry then we are not worthy, valued or capable. I see young, healthy mothers with their toddlers in these extreme baby strollers for runners and they are in a hurry. Their faces hold these stoic looks of:
“Get out of my way, I’m in a hurry, can’t you see I am busy and have got to get this run in because I don’t have time to stop and smell the roses?”
Grrrrr, do these women ever smile?
Hurry is a really bad habit that stems from believing if we are not busy and making the most of every moment we are lazy under-achievers, inadequate and, most of all, wasting time.
On the other hand, having order in one’s life creates space for calm, poise, peace and planning, and it can become as much a habit as hurrying. It is up to you to decide how to live – hurrying and scurrying around or living with order and tranquility.
But how does one exchange hurry with order? The first step is to recognize that the habit of hurry is causing you trouble. It makes you over-anxious, short-tempered, maybe even mean. With that recognition and desire to change (I assume you want to change because you are reading this post) these are several simple yet effective tools to practice.
First of all, stop hurrying. Just stop. No matter how uncomfortable you feel, stop hurrying. Give yourself permission to leave something out of your habitual daily routine. In my book, Extraordinary Advice for Extraordinary Women, the narrative, “I Left the Bed Unmade” on page 59 discusses “Il dolce far niente” – the sweetness of doing nothing. It reminds us there is joy in relaxing and doing nothing.
For me, one of the characteristics of order is letting go of perfection and always being right. Order requires:
- planning with flexibility
- practice with permission to make mistakes
- being happy rather than right
- and most importantly, enjoying the process
The results of order are life changing. We begin to notice a calm and poise that isn’t there when we are in a hurry. We are nicer to our family, work colleagues, even the jerk who cut in front of you in the grocery store. Our blood pressure lowers, our shoulders and neck muscles relax, the people in our lives notice the change and want to be around us.
Are you ready to replace the habit of hurrying with the habit of order? Put into practice my four-pronged formula and be ready to open your heart and mind to how the Universe will guide you to this new way of living.
Step 1: Name It
Name what you want:
I desire to be a woman of order.
Step 2: Claim It
Create a Womantra – an inspirational statement that expresses your desire. For example:
I now claim order in my life. I have perfect and elegant timing and everything comes at its appointed moment. Divine Mind is cause and effect in my life and my thoughts, feelings and actions are positive proof of the power of order.
Repeat this statement to yourself and claim your desire.
Step 3: Frame It
Keep this Womantra close – on your smart phone, sticky note, etc. and read it morning and night. Each time you find yourself hurrying, read it again. Reframe negative thinking to positive thinking. For example:
“I’ve got to hurry and eat before the meeting starts.”
Can be reframed into:
“I’ll give myself an additional 10 minutes to eat lunch before the meeting.”
Remember, you are in charge of your moment, not the clock.
Take physical actions that invite your desire into your life:
- Post your Womantra: “I am a woman of order,” on your refrigerator
- Turn it into a song and sing it in the shower
- Say it to yourself as you exercise
- Slow down and create a happy joyful space where you can just be in the moment
Each morning as you plan your day, include some time to relax: five minutes drinking coffee; watching the sun rise or set; leave time for new experiences.
Smile and breathe, smile and smile again. Laugh at yourself.
Step 4: Fame It
Celebrate your decision to change, to remove the barriers of habitual hurrying to allow yourself to live in habitual order. We are creatures of habit and, as you created a habit of hurrying you can, and will, create the habit of order – one day at a time.
Each time you choose order over hurry and practice the Womantra, “I am a woman of order”, pat yourself on the back, literally pat yourself. Give yourself a gift of a massage, facial or a new book because one of the best results of order is having more time to do what you want. And frankly isn’t that why we we’re all in such a hurry? So we could hurry up and do what we want?
And remember “Il dolce far niente” – the sweetness of doing nothing.
My book, The Age of Sage, Extraordinary Advice for Extraordinary Women, is a great handbook for learning how to name, claim and frame your beliefs about yourself – including your ability to change. After you register to buy the book you will receive a Daily Womantra; an inspiring, motivational thought to start your day or, you can drop me a line here and ask to be added to my Womantra list.
For those of you who want a more personal approach, I offer 1-to-1 Freedom after 40 Coaching, for women asking, “Now, what about me?” This is an exclusive package designed to help women take ownership of their lives and create MORE of what they want.
If you would like to chat about coaching with me, just drop me a line via the contact form on this website and request a free consultation.
Over the coming weeks I’ll be looking at topics that women over 40 have asked me about, “Why Don’t I Ever Have Fun?” “Why Wasn’t I Promoted at Work?” “Why Am I So Afraid of Money?”
I hope you will subscribe to this blog and connect with me on social media so you know when the new topics come out.
26th May 2015
Judith Pepper is a sage, author and transformational speaker who guides women over 40 to ask and explore the question “Now, What About ME?” She is the author of The Age of Sage: Extraordinary Advice for Extraordinary Women, a selection of narratives, formulas and ideas on how women can reframe negative thoughts into positive beliefs, so they can build their momentum to live life as fully and wildly as they desire.
Judith is also an expert public speaker on the subject of life transformation over 40. She’s addressed audiences of hundreds of women all over the US. She has won numerous awards in everything from community leadership to pecan pie baking! She firmly believes any woman can reap extraordinary success and pleasure, regardless of what she does for a living or where she is in life.